What Infertility Has Taught Me

I am not doing well today. My husband and I received a bad report from our fertility doctor. Without a miracle, for us to have a child we will have to do IVF or adopt. Both of those options are not ideal for the sole reason of cost. If this is your first time coming across my blog my husband, James, and I have been dealing with infertility for almost two years. I have PCOs and James has hypothyroidism. We both have had hormone and vitamin level issues. We have tried many types of medicines and even IUI and so far have had no luck. If you have dealt with this or are going through it now you know what a hard and isolating road it is to walk. To make myself feel better, and hopefully to help someone else, I decided to write about what I’ve learned these past two years.

  1. You are your own best advocate. A doctor is never going to care about your situation as much as you do. We have had to deal with an unreal amount of not so great medical professionals and are currently getting things worked out to go get a second opinion. YOU do the research about your condition and YOU tell them what you want to try (within limits, obviously). Doctors are great but sometimes you have to help yourself out.
  2. It is never too early to seek out medical help. After three months of us trying to conceive I knew something wasn’t right. I’m so glad I went to the doctor when I did. Go with your gut and do what you think is best.
  3. Self care is amazingly important. I feel like I would be so much further in this journey if I would have taken better care of my health. Work out, start eating better and take those vitamins!
  4. BOTH partners need everything (vitamin levels, hormones, ovaries, sperm counts, testosterone, etc.) checked out if there may be a problem. It’s not fun but it can save so much time.
  5. Love your partner and be understanding. Whether it’s you, your partner or both with the problem try not to make them feel like they’re at fault.
  6. Enjoy the time you have with your partner. I try to remind myself all the time that I’m going to miss our freedom once we have a child. We get to go where we want, do what we want and sleep in as late as we want. Have to look for the silver lining.
  7. Be angry. Be jealous. Be depressed. But don’t stay there. Cry your eyes out, then get up and start looking for where to go from there. Nothing feels as good as progress.

If you are just starting this terrible journey or if you have been on it for years I pray that you get your baby soon. You don’t have to do this alone. There is a lot of great groups and resources out there. One of my all time favorite websites is Natural Fertility Info. If you prefer herbal remedies they have a ton of great info. I’m also willing to talk and give whatever advice I can so if you have any questions please feel free to ask. Once we reach some kind of conclusion on where to go from here I’ll update. Thank you for reading and have a great day!

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